Working with men

So often, men find it hard to express their true emotions. The pressure of everyday life — financial stress, work demands, relationship conflict, or PTSD — often shows up in other ways: anger, depression, or emotional withdrawal.

A common theme over the years is that many were raised in environments where men were expected to be staunch, where showing vulnerability wasn't encouraged. The “real men don’t cry” mentality has been often handed down over generations.

Seeking counselling is a big step for most men. It often takes time for them to realise they need support — and more often than not, it’s a significant event that pushes them to act. It could be their partner saying they’re done, or a breakdown in their personal or professional life that has reached the point of being seemingly overwhelming.

Many of the men we see are operating at 100 miles an hour. They’re overthinking, feeling confused, and often reacting impulsively based on raw emotion. They want to fix things now, and frustration builds when progress doesn’t come fast enough.

But the reality is: whatever brought them to this point likely didn’t happen overnight. It’s the result of prolonged patterns or behaviours that have built up over time — and it’ll take time to work through. That’s OK, we always tell them that this isn't a race.

The first step is helping them slow down. To stop overthinking, and focus on what they can control. We guide them to see that they can't change someone else’s feelings — but they can change how they respond.

We reassure men that mistakes are part of being human. Its important to acknowledge your mistakes, to take ownership but you don't need to justify them. The healing process starts with self-reflection — working on themselves before trying to fix what’s happening around them. For many that are not used to looking inward, this can feel daunting. It might even seem like inaction — but in reality, it’s one of the most proactive steps they can take to move forward. Understanding what really going on inside and being accountable for the way you present to the world helps instil long lasting change and improves communication skills. Often communication, or lack of it has been a factor in the journey to where they are now.

We encourage them to open up emotionally — even to cry — but in a safe space, without fear of judgment. Often when a man says he feels “broken,” it often means is that he’s lost his sense of worth. Rebuilding that confidence is key to becoming a healthier, more grounded version of himself.

We use practical strategies, helping men take a step back and view their situation with fresh perspective — to find hope in what might feel like a hopeless space.